If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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