i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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