i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
