is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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