You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
