Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
