just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
