Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
