Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
