In the future we'll all be gay
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
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