i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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