It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
