I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
