Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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