So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
