I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Houston, we have a blender
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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