if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
