i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
