Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
