ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
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