i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
