At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
