Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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