And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
