am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
