He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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