he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
