well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
