i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Randomize
