That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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