yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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