I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
