Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
