I wish I could punch you in the face.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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