it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
