i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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