I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
