you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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