i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
