just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I currently don't understand fingers.
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