are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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