Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
