You smell like a Billy Joel song
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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