dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
And the cops told us we were all naked.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I think I just sharted jello shots
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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