judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
