She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
