I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Pants are for mortals
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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