you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
