Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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