apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
