Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
