I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
