I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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