Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
