i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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