3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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